Last night I was working on the finishing touches of my web-site in preparation for my upcoming show on blog talk radio. I clicked on each page testing the links , making small changes here and there, and overall speculating whether or not it was good enough or should be deleted all together. Self- doubt and fear began to seep in and I began to wonder if I'm truly ready for this. I finally pulled myself away from the computer and went to bed. Thoughts continued to dance around in my mind and I began to feel an overwhelming sense of dread. I searched for some reprieve and traveled back to my younger years when fear wasn't so much of an obstacle. Back then I had the strength to push past the fears and simply did with little regard to consequence.Somewhere along the way,the storms of life seemed to have stripped me of that inner strength and over time I drowned .
So I laid there wondering at what point I allowed my fears to defeat me. Unproductive thoughts continued to consume me and the most destructive weapon emerged, self sabotage. Within the midst of my own self destruction, i noticed little lights dancing across the wall. As tiny pieces of glitter floated freely within the warmed cylinder of the lava lamp, i noticed the continuous cycle of floating to the bottom and rising above once again. Ironically, it was when the glitter began to sink to the bottom is when it shone it's brightest. For the light is not at the top, but at the bottom.
The light of that lamp led me to the light within. It lead me to my inner strength. And I embraced it. I stood up and said "No ! I will NOT live like this anymore!" I am NO LONGER a prisoner of Fear " I want this, no I NEED this and NOTHING will stop me or hold me down from living the life that I choose for myself!"
So, next Friday, Mystic Realm will air on blog talk radio. I will give Readings. And most important whether I succeed or fail is irrelevant, all that matters is that I allowed NOTHING to stop me from living once again.
So I laid there wondering at what point I allowed my fears to defeat me. Unproductive thoughts continued to consume me and the most destructive weapon emerged, self sabotage. Within the midst of my own self destruction, i noticed little lights dancing across the wall. As tiny pieces of glitter floated freely within the warmed cylinder of the lava lamp, i noticed the continuous cycle of floating to the bottom and rising above once again. Ironically, it was when the glitter began to sink to the bottom is when it shone it's brightest. For the light is not at the top, but at the bottom.
The light of that lamp led me to the light within. It lead me to my inner strength. And I embraced it. I stood up and said "No ! I will NOT live like this anymore!" I am NO LONGER a prisoner of Fear " I want this, no I NEED this and NOTHING will stop me or hold me down from living the life that I choose for myself!"
So, next Friday, Mystic Realm will air on blog talk radio. I will give Readings. And most important whether I succeed or fail is irrelevant, all that matters is that I allowed NOTHING to stop me from living once again.
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