Storm Clouds

My darkest moments are those that you are so far away.
Hell is the coldness I feel when you are only a few feet from me.
I have lived so much, yet the lessons I never seem to learn. The darkness seems to consume my light. At this moment I feel dead inside. I'm coming to the realization that this darkness will always be here. I'm not sure if it comes from within or without, not even sure it matters anymore. I just know that is always here. The root of my soul is pain, it's something I have fought my entire life, something I can't seem to accept, yet it is the source of my power.
Love is pain, I'm beginning to understand that now. It's the rawest emotion we will ever feel. You can't hide from it, you can't run. It forces you to look at the truth of the matter, no matter how bad we try to bury it. It 's rooted in love, because if we didn't love, it wouldn't hurt so bad. Our minds will tell us it doesn't exsist, but the void within reminds us that it is still there.
God I just want to hold you right now, but your rejection would kill me. So I will just sit here and pray the storm ends quickly.