Mystic's Path 2

The morning meditations and open circle the past few days have been proven to be one of the most sacred and enlightening moments I have had since beginning this path. I feel more grounded, more peaceful and more spiritual, but it also feels as if it comes at a price. How could anyone ever think that this type of spirituality could ever come at a cost? By leaving the hardship and pain behind I feel as if I am leaving those who must still endure this pain and suffering, as if I have been granted a free pass and not really quite sure I am ready to use it. The path of the mystic is a sacred path in search of the divine, all that is wholesome and pure, yet I fear of loosing a piece of my self, my humanity. Yet, I must continue down this path in hopes that my fears will subside and realize that the shadows aren't as dark as they seem and that in order to have light, we must first walk through the shadows of our impurities and imperfection. Maybe by some chance it's the lack of perfection that makes us perfect after all. 
  I opened my sacred circle this morning. I decided to take the silent advice of the Guru on Youtube and find my own flow of energy. So raising my hands towards the sky, I embraced the energy of the divine. With heart wide open, my entire being was envoloped in the beautiful sacred energy of love, healing and light. A small light shaped like a small ball spirled down and found it's place inside the depths of my soul. I drew my hands down towards my core in a praying position, aligning my intentions with the energy and sealing it deep within.
As a gardener tends it's precious crops, I sowed that seed and soon it began grow. As within , so without. The circle became larger and larger created a protective bubble around my home and family.
  In my sacred space, I once again communed with the Divine. I was taken to a forested area, a sacred path in between two mountains. Not the same place as the place before, this place appeared more ominous, yet magickal. Heavy fog covered the path ahead, fealessly I continued to walk forward. Soon two angels joined me, one on each side. Their light illuminated the darkness. I was told to stop for just a few moments and to will the fog to part and dissapaite, and so I did. I willed the sun to shine through the mist and soon the mist disappeared. I was told that I was powerful, more powerful than I realized. I asked how that could be, for that power was not my power, but the power of the Divine flowing through me. I was told that I am a child of the Divine and that the power was given to me. Soon I was cloaked in a beautiful robe and crowned with gold and beautiful gems. I didn't feel comfortable, unworthy to wear such things. I didn't want this, I wanted to be clothed in clothing that was simple, clothing that would allow me to walk amoung others without notice. So my magnificent robe and crown was turned into a simple cloak and headpiece with a small crystal hanging down my forehead. It was explained to me that we were one, we were ALL one, and all the forces above are given to me for help those of us below.
   I was then joined by my husband and children who also glowed in the glorious light. We are family, we are one among millions of others. We hold the powers of the heavens because we are one with the Divine. We pass this torch along and those who accept are also given this power, and the circle continues. This power is within us because we are all connected with one another and with the Divine. The most precious and sacred gift we could ever be given is that sacred connection to all living things.
    I don't know where this journey will lead to tomarrow, but the sacred path of the mystics is the realization that all the mystical and magickal things that we seek are already within us.

The Mystics Path 1

   My husband and I have made the conscious choice to do a type of daily morning ritual. I know this should be a given for most people, but I have come to realize that it is not just a daily routine, but a spiritual lifestyle to help us connect to God in our own ways.
   My husband routine consists of cleansing the house with sage. He has the gift of healing and when he is finished, the energy of where he cleans is so pure and safe. It's so beautiful it would tears to the hardest of hearts.
   My routine is different and consists of opening a circle every morning. I have spent a lifetime tapping into my own abilites and have spent the last 8 years figuring out what they are and who I am. It has been a tough journey for it seemed the more knowledge I gained, the more confused I became. I replaced faith with understanding . I have also realized the knowledge in all of it's glory has both a balance of light and dark, as with all things.
    I'm coming back to my roots now. I'm remembering who I am through the help of the Divine. The Mystic's Path is a recount of the things I have learned and experienced in my circle to help me remember in times that I may forget. I'm still making adjustments based on intention. At this point my intention is to draw in the light and reconnect with the Divine and my higher self as some would call it.
    I will begin with the lesson from yesterday and come back later for today. Yesterday I began to work out the basics of my morning ritual that begins with adding motion to intention. I started with some basic yoga moves and have spent quite a few hours trying to organize it. What I learned is that the soul longs to be free and organization for me means to follow the flow of my own energy and my own heart. This was accomplished through putting on a youtube video of an Indian Guru conducting the Sun Salutations. I watched with his intentions and convictions and desired to be able to do that my self. I noticed how the energy just flowed without conscious thought as he allowed his own spirit to take over. This was my intention at the moment, yet I failed miserably. Why? Because I was trying to follow the flow of his energy instead of listening to my own. So I sat quietly and began to connect on my own.
     I sat cross legged and envisioned a circle of white sparkles surrounding my. The flow felt unstable. While asking for help I was shown a picture of a bowel and some water in it and instructed to place my finger in it. As I dis this, i moved my finger clockwise to the flow I desired. The energy around me began to follow immediately and it became free flowing yet strong. I envisioned this circle moving around and outward, stretching further and further out until it covered my entire home and property. My circle was set.
     I then began to visualize a large green field with two mountains on both sides and a small path that led to ocean. I saw a lonesome tree asked why I was seeing this. Suddenly, the area I was sitting on, my body began to grow roots that traveled deep within the earth. My body began to transform upwards as the middle became the trunk. With arms stretched outward, they began full, beautiful and lush branches. A cool breeze began to flow as I swayed to the rythem of the air. The sun was warm and welcoming and nourished me. Suddenly a small creek appeared next to me and quenched my thirst.  Soon the transformation was complete and I transformed into the tree with each of the elements supplying my needs. I felt complete, grounded and stable.
     I asked if I would always be like this, for my soul always longs for different things at different times. I was asked to take a step forward and I began to transform back into my self with the energy of the tree and all that came with it at that moment. It was now a part of me. So I envaioned a Raven and began to transform once again. I took flight and freely soared through the air. I flew gracefully across the water and above the mountains until I found a place on the very top of a mountain. The view was spectacular. As I planted my feet on the ground, I was again transformed back into myself, taking with me all that was me as the Raven. I stayed there for quite some time. It was gently explained to me that power of energy and projection. That we transform our energy in many different ways, and even though we will never always stay in one sacred place inside or another, we bring these things with us and we can come back always, for it travels with us. We are all one, above and below.
      I was shown one last thing. I was standing on a cliff next to the ocean. The clouds were becoming dark and ominous. I began to become afraid. I was guided to envision the circle of energy around me. So I closed my eyes and invioned a circle of peace, love and protection. The energy was strong yet gentle. I focused my attention solely on this circle. I could see the storm approaching quickly, tital waves crashing up against the rocks I was standing on. I kneeled and focused on the circle and the sacred space I had created. Though I was afraid, I knew this circle would protect me. I looked around and a tital wave came crashing above me and water flooded the area around me. I was completly under this wave, yet not one drop of water entered my circle. I was safe and protected. Finally the water receeded and the storm ended. The sun began to shine and I arose. It was explained to me that we can not always control the the things around us, and some things will make us afraid, however, that sacred spot within when projected outward will protect us from those storms of life. No matter how difficult the storm, we are loved and safe.
        By the time my meditation was over, I found the basics of my own morning routine which I will explain in my next entry.

Full Moon Candle Wax Divination

Today was a busy day and we got home really late tonight tonight. I wanted to so something still for the full moon, since this is a time to of communion with God and the Godess, in my case the holy trinity. I have been wanting to do a candle wax divination for some time, but have put it off. Tonight I didn't and I am so glad that I followed through.
I was thinking about my path lately and how I felt I was standing still. Not moving forward or backwards. Just here. I really didn;t have much other on my mind. So I asked God to simply speak to me. When I first lit the candle, dabs of candle wax floated all over, here and there in random areas of the bowl. None seemed to really forn any type of symbol. This represented my past and how I experimented with one thing after another tryong to find something that fit, something that would fulfill the soul. This also represented a time where I felt alone, disconnected and scattered.
Suddenly the candle wax began to settle on one area. As the wax continued to drip, it began to form a solid path. It showed me going down one path. At one point it stopped and began to gather in one spot. This was the crossroads I was at 8 years ago. After a few moments, the wax began to form going the opposite direction but still strong and connected to the path, This represents when I decided to leave all that I knew from the past and leave it behind. I made a decision to follow a new path, my own path. A path that knew no rules and regulations, one that would allow me to worship my God as I chose, and express it in a way that came from the heart. I broke away and finally took God out of the box.
  The wax continued to form the rest of the path until it ended. It continued to accumulate and rise in the same area. I asked what my future would hold. I was guided to move the candle in a different area. Unlike the first time, the wax accumulated once again, thick and strong. I knew that once I set forward on this path, that my path was no longer scattered but solid. The foundation of my present will continue into my future. This will never change. The wax began to move towards the original one, the original path as if to melt together.
   Looking at the wax, I noticed that there were some turns, some hills yet the path remained solid. I was able to see where I was and where I am now. I was shown that the future is also solid and strong and that my path is blessed.
  When I looked at the symbols behind the message, the original path looks like a dragon. The one that represented my future looked like a fish. The dragon represents wisdom. The fish represents good fortune. Being that this was a more spiritual journey, I feel that fish represents spirituality as a whole and that by continung down my path I will continue to prosper and grow in this wisdom.
   I will definitely be doing this again and couldn't have found a better way to celebrate this sacred night.

Dreams Today

I had two dreams this afternoon. This really isn't as much as a blog a it is to jot this down so I can remember and go through this more thoroughly.
I was really tired this afternoon. In fact, it is VERY rare I take naps because it throws off my schedule. As I was drifting off to sleep, I was talking to my daughter and I heard a voice. I can't remember what it said, I just remember that I heard it wrong and it was repeated correctly. In my mind, I saw my bedroom and a quick flash across my room and it disappeared. It was like a white smear running across my room. I knew it was a spirit. It got my attention and I opened my eyes looking for her. I wish I remembered what she said. Spirit dreams often work like this for me. So I went back to sleep.
The first dream, I was with my daughter and my dad. We were going to the storage unit at night to get something. We got out of the car. I think we were in the wrong parking lot and we got out. I wasn't paying attention to what was going on. I soon noticed a bunch of people standing and looking straight ahead, the direction I had my back turned. I turned around around and there was a guy with a gun and yelling at people to turn around and not to move. I was going to chance it at first until I heard him yell again and we were the only one's moving. I stopped and told my daughter to do exactly as he says. She was to my right where I could still see her. He told us to take a few steps backwards. My daughter did and so did I , but I could not see her anymore. I was afraid to look back because I feared it would only put her in more danger. I don't know what ended it, but next thing I know people were dropping like flies and I thought I was shot. I turned around and my daughter was nowhere in site. I began to head towards the car and kept telling myself I was ok and not shot. Suddenly the symptoms of being shot were gone and so was everyone else. I ran back to he car and found my daughter safe and sound in the back seat. I asked her what she was doing in there. She said she was hiding from the bad guy. I asked , " he never saw you?" she shook her head and smiled. That ended the first dream.
I moved into the second dream and it was a repeat from before, yet a little different. Before, meaning a dream I had a long time ago. We were in this marketplace from kind of like the renessance period, yet it was with modern people, ect. Again, my daughter was with me. We were walking around and was having a good time. Then suddenly I saw some people in black robes and they had someone laying on some wood. He looked like he was about to be sacrificed. He layed still as they prepared him. I wondered if he was already dead. I ran into the next shop to warn someone. This was all to familiar and I remembered in my dream doing this before. So I played along with it, already knowing the ending. I was still like of frantic and was trying to warn someone. He saw who I was talking about and it made me a target for the others. They were passing some type of potion os green glo stuff,making people drink it. I refused to . We were trying to get away and ducked into a different room. Somehow my daughter disappeared. I went back out to look for her and saw her on a bridge with some other children. I knew they had gotten her. I ran up the stairs and started fighting with the ones that had her and the other kids. They were evil and they threatened me. I didn't care. My daughter started hanging over the edge and fell. I ran down the stairs because I knew in my other dream, the leader caught her and took her away again. When I got down there, she was gone again. I knew they had her, yet I wasn't so panicked because I already knew how the dream would end. It ended with me rescuing her. Suddenly I was in the middle of a field with teenagers everywhere. They had gathered the teens for "ceremony". My plan was the same as before, to hide amoung them and rescue her when they brought the children out. At that point, nothing seemed to matter. I had so much peace around me that I didn't even want to finish the dream. I already knew. Then I woke up.
My daughter comes in with a big smile on her face and I can consciously see everything is ok. I have been trying to figure all of this out. The signs lately have pointed to some really weird shit. Like for 3 days in a row, when getting random online readings, through generators, ect, I was given 4 death cards. A bit freaky. And then the other day, I had another psychic pull a card for me and it to was the death card. It was to much to be simply "new beginnings and changes" this was a clear cut warning. I just don't understand about what.
Before I went to sleep, I felt like something was off today. But before I had the spirit come to me, I feel asleep feeling the presence of God. It was weird. And I felt the same peace towards the end of my last dream. I think it's time to go to the cards and see if I can get some answers.
If I get any answers I will post them.