Life Lessons

The past few days have been kind of rough being back. Though I'm really glad and my husband is thrilled, so much happier, I have been a bit dishearten as far as job prospects go. The store I was supposed to transfer to to, the store manager has yet to contact me. I leave messages, she's busy in a meeting, she's on vacation, she's out of town, ect. So i have been searching elsewhere with little to no luck. So my self-esteem has been low. I felt that maybe I could find something on-line, do readings or something. My desire is to teach, kinda like coaching, possibly like a spiritual coach. So I went searching for training classes, ect. Every site i went to charges ridiculous amounts of money, with no, or ridiculous "payment plans". So I became dis hearted again. Ok, well spiritual coaches really don't require "certification" per se but everyone seems to want it. I even ran into a web-site that will train you to become a "Ordained Angel Minister". I looked at it and I'm like "are you kidding me!??" So I read through it anyways. The program seemed interesting enough until i got the price. A couple of THOUSAND dollars. For what channeling Angels, to give readings and to marry someone in the name of Archangel Micheal? And knowing that a lot of people are actually paying this price in search for spiritual enlightenment, for hope that there is something more, to transform their lives and to be an "expert" and how to make your life happy? It's almost repulsive how they market spirituality. (No offence to anyone who has spent money on alot of these classes). Anyways, by the time I shut off the computer, i was so depressed. Wondering what my purpose is, how to become "something" in life and knowing that we would never have the money to do it until I'm older. I felt stuck and hopeless. But the depression was so heavy . It was like a wet blanket draped across me. I forced myself to channel the negative energy out. As I did, it felt as if ALL of my energy was leaving, because the negative energy was so strong that it pretty much snuffed out the good. So I began to channel in the light while channeling out the negative (a practice I'm done often). By the time I was done, i felt more peace, still lost, but had some peace. I took my husband to work this morning. On the drive back I put on a meditation song and began talking to my Angels. I told them that I could not afford any of this stuff and if I needed to learn they would have to teach me. I thought about alot of stuff, I realized that my spiritual growth seemed to stop ans stagnate after I put my show on hold. I just went down hill spiritually from then. I also realized that I live alot of my life experiences through other people. Because of my unique abilites working together, I learn, experience and teach all at once, helping other's to do the same. When I focus on service, i am fulfilling my life purpose. As the Angels help them to heal, I heal myself. When I go inward, in my own self, i stop growing. because I am not fulfilling my life path and purpose. I also realized what our life purpose is..Our life path is to learn, our life purpose is to teach what we have learned in order to gain a greater connection to the Divine and one another. So , we came up with a plan that will fulfill my life purpose and the manifest what i have seen before. Since most of my learning comes from life experiences and I usually teach from life experience. So I plan on making a lesson plan on "life lessons" , spiritually speaking. First, I will post some of them on my web-site and if people want to donate, then great, but at least it will be accessible if people can't afford them. Then I can write a book and sell it, with the lessons and more, which will fulfill our financial needs, while still doing the show. No spending thousands of dollars, I'm still learning, teaching other's and fulfilling my purpose of learning and teaching and helping other's. This blog really duos no justice compared to the way it was experienced this morning, but that's ok. I have a direction now, all I have to do is continue down this path,with a possibility to actually to fulfill it. It will take some months, but that's ok. Things will fall into place as they should. It's nice to have some clarity though, a direction, a plausible direction that I feel is attainable and fulfilling. Today I will take the kids and my dad down to the coast before he has to leave. It will be a great day after all :)