Christmas Sucks
I have always hated christmas. How everything just builds and builds and then after the presents are opened, the magick of the holiday seems to disappear after the last present is opened. Now that I am a mother and wife, I am basically in charge of everyone's happiness and satisfaction during this season. I do all of the shopping for gifts, the shopping for the christmas dinners, yes, dinners since our families don't get along, I have to cook for both, making sure everything is set up, the presents are wrapped.. everything. Ok fine, I can accept this responsibility, but tonight was yet another blow to my ego.
It's not that I expect anything, being broke, I would much rather the money be spent on the kids. In the past when we do have money, they depend on me to buy my own gifts anyway's because they don't seem to have any idea what to get me anyway's. Ok, fine I can deal with this to, better to get something I might actually enjoy then some (lame) present that actually had some thought behind it, right? I'm being sarcastic. I don't think they understand that I could give a shit less about the gift, it's the heart and the thought behind it that matters to me.
So why am I whining again now? Well, we were watching charmed, and my husband looks over and say's he's going to have to kick me out of the room so him and my kids can wrap their christmas present to me. 15 minutes later, the show ends and I get ready to leave. My daughter doesn't want to do it and my son get's upset because he is really excited. Come to find out my daughter wanted to watch a movie that was coming on and was willing to go in our room if she could watch the movie while wrapping it. (Jee, thanks) but she's a kid so what do you expect? But my husband decides that he doesn't want to watch it, he wants to watch a different show so my daughter backs out and leaves. Then my husband say's that he's not feeling well anyways and they can do it tomarrow. Talk about making me feel like shit once again. I hate to admit it but it is quite heartbreaking knowing that I spend so much time and energy trying to give them the best christmas we can afford and wrapping one simple present for me is just to much work. They would rather rather watch tv instead of taking 15 minutes out of their busy schedule. Lord knows that with all we have to do tomorrow, noone will get to it or will be rushed since tomorrow is Christmas Eve and done out of obligation anyway's.
I told my husband just to give it to my son since he is the only one who actually want's to do it anyway's. No, really, I don't want to put anyone out.
They did this on Mother's Day to. The lack of emotion behind it was so painful I decided not have them celebrate Mother's Day for me anymore. Wish your grandmother's a happy mother's day, but leave me out of it. I mean seriously, I don't ask for anything in return , but everyone seems obligated, not because they want to but because they have to attitude, it just invalidates me even more. I keep telling them not to do anything when their heart's aren't into it anyways, yet they do and once again, making a person feel special obviously isn't a strong point in this family.
Except for my son, unselfishly, lol, he just gets so excited. A very good kid with a very big heart. I'll keep his his, the other two can go back to the store, I don't want it.
I was hoping that getting this out of my system would make me feel better, but it didn't. So I'm just going to quite whining.
It's not that I expect anything, being broke, I would much rather the money be spent on the kids. In the past when we do have money, they depend on me to buy my own gifts anyway's because they don't seem to have any idea what to get me anyway's. Ok, fine I can deal with this to, better to get something I might actually enjoy then some (lame) present that actually had some thought behind it, right? I'm being sarcastic. I don't think they understand that I could give a shit less about the gift, it's the heart and the thought behind it that matters to me.
So why am I whining again now? Well, we were watching charmed, and my husband looks over and say's he's going to have to kick me out of the room so him and my kids can wrap their christmas present to me. 15 minutes later, the show ends and I get ready to leave. My daughter doesn't want to do it and my son get's upset because he is really excited. Come to find out my daughter wanted to watch a movie that was coming on and was willing to go in our room if she could watch the movie while wrapping it. (Jee, thanks) but she's a kid so what do you expect? But my husband decides that he doesn't want to watch it, he wants to watch a different show so my daughter backs out and leaves. Then my husband say's that he's not feeling well anyways and they can do it tomarrow. Talk about making me feel like shit once again. I hate to admit it but it is quite heartbreaking knowing that I spend so much time and energy trying to give them the best christmas we can afford and wrapping one simple present for me is just to much work. They would rather rather watch tv instead of taking 15 minutes out of their busy schedule. Lord knows that with all we have to do tomorrow, noone will get to it or will be rushed since tomorrow is Christmas Eve and done out of obligation anyway's.
I told my husband just to give it to my son since he is the only one who actually want's to do it anyway's. No, really, I don't want to put anyone out.
They did this on Mother's Day to. The lack of emotion behind it was so painful I decided not have them celebrate Mother's Day for me anymore. Wish your grandmother's a happy mother's day, but leave me out of it. I mean seriously, I don't ask for anything in return , but everyone seems obligated, not because they want to but because they have to attitude, it just invalidates me even more. I keep telling them not to do anything when their heart's aren't into it anyways, yet they do and once again, making a person feel special obviously isn't a strong point in this family.
Except for my son, unselfishly, lol, he just gets so excited. A very good kid with a very big heart. I'll keep his his, the other two can go back to the store, I don't want it.
I was hoping that getting this out of my system would make me feel better, but it didn't. So I'm just going to quite whining.
