I forgot what I wrote on my last post, but I am taking some much needed quite time before the kids get up and get ready for school. Being that I homeschool now, my time is quite limited.
I wear so many hats and am torn between so many things that I often spend alot of time running around in circles trying to figure out my life purpose. So I often try to do several things all at once. I could literally come up with about 20 titles that would describe what I do, yet none of them really describes who I am.
I started seriously researching psychic abilites about 6 years ago. It was then when I realized that I wasn't a freak of nature, but finally tapped into the one thing my soul had been running away from since childhood. Fate has a funny way of not allowing us to deny our true selves, no matter how much we try, or how many directions we go, it will always lead us back to our original path.
For awhile now, I have been torn. I have always wanted to have some type of career that made decent money and that made me feel that I have accomplished something. This desire has always pushed me to do more. I finally figured out what I wanted to do in life and the door closed on me several times. As with everything else, is has been a painful process. But as one door closes, another opens.
I have been doing psychic readings for awhile and I have noticed, like everything else in my life, that the fire burns out pretty quick and it becomes routine. I spent alot of time trying to break into the field professionally, and I know that the only thing stopping me is me. I enjoy helping people and have focused most of time on missing people. I don't feel like it is right to be like one of these "big-wig" psychics and charge $1,000.00 an hour for a reading that I can't guarentee will even help them. It just seems wrong to me and takes away the passion for what I do. I enjoy helping people and I know my life purpose revolves around this, but it's difficult when , in the back of my mind I want to be able to make a living. I know it's more then just a money thing, it's a soul thing.
I think part of my problem is the lack of passion. Though the passion still burns, it has simmered down a great deal. I feel a bit detached and ungrounded. I have been focusing my sights on a more spiritual path and who I am as a spiritual being, which has seem to have added to the confusion. Like a pattern of behaviour I always seem to have followed, but this time, the soul won't let me stop. There is so many things within myself, I can't focus on just one thing, it's like I have to do it all, and do it now. I became an ordained minister so that I could properly and legally give spiritual advice, but then it brought on an expectation of being a spiritual leader. I am torn by what the titile represents and obligation, versus the reason I got it to begin with. I'm beginning to understand that I am living to much under the labels and have fogotten how to simply allow things to flow. I think this goes back to feeling to need to accomplish a career, which is why I always feel torn.
I will probebly have more blogs like this, simply because it helps me figure things out. One of the greatest moments I have has that created balance between my gifts and spirituality is the time that I had breakfast with a Shaman. There is a blog about it on my web-site and will probebly re-post it here
I know that I will figure it out and will get back to where I need to be.
I wear so many hats and am torn between so many things that I often spend alot of time running around in circles trying to figure out my life purpose. So I often try to do several things all at once. I could literally come up with about 20 titles that would describe what I do, yet none of them really describes who I am.
I started seriously researching psychic abilites about 6 years ago. It was then when I realized that I wasn't a freak of nature, but finally tapped into the one thing my soul had been running away from since childhood. Fate has a funny way of not allowing us to deny our true selves, no matter how much we try, or how many directions we go, it will always lead us back to our original path.
For awhile now, I have been torn. I have always wanted to have some type of career that made decent money and that made me feel that I have accomplished something. This desire has always pushed me to do more. I finally figured out what I wanted to do in life and the door closed on me several times. As with everything else, is has been a painful process. But as one door closes, another opens.
I have been doing psychic readings for awhile and I have noticed, like everything else in my life, that the fire burns out pretty quick and it becomes routine. I spent alot of time trying to break into the field professionally, and I know that the only thing stopping me is me. I enjoy helping people and have focused most of time on missing people. I don't feel like it is right to be like one of these "big-wig" psychics and charge $1,000.00 an hour for a reading that I can't guarentee will even help them. It just seems wrong to me and takes away the passion for what I do. I enjoy helping people and I know my life purpose revolves around this, but it's difficult when , in the back of my mind I want to be able to make a living. I know it's more then just a money thing, it's a soul thing.
I think part of my problem is the lack of passion. Though the passion still burns, it has simmered down a great deal. I feel a bit detached and ungrounded. I have been focusing my sights on a more spiritual path and who I am as a spiritual being, which has seem to have added to the confusion. Like a pattern of behaviour I always seem to have followed, but this time, the soul won't let me stop. There is so many things within myself, I can't focus on just one thing, it's like I have to do it all, and do it now. I became an ordained minister so that I could properly and legally give spiritual advice, but then it brought on an expectation of being a spiritual leader. I am torn by what the titile represents and obligation, versus the reason I got it to begin with. I'm beginning to understand that I am living to much under the labels and have fogotten how to simply allow things to flow. I think this goes back to feeling to need to accomplish a career, which is why I always feel torn.
I will probebly have more blogs like this, simply because it helps me figure things out. One of the greatest moments I have has that created balance between my gifts and spirituality is the time that I had breakfast with a Shaman. There is a blog about it on my web-site and will probebly re-post it here
I know that I will figure it out and will get back to where I need to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment