I just had a reading today. It was kind of a reality check for me and chucking my responsibility aside. This has been an on-going struggle for me. I asked the psychic if there any spirits around me. He is used to dealing with crossed over spirits, so I know this one was uncomfortable. He picked up on the angelic energy, which he also doesn't work alot with. Michael is a protective angel I work alot with and was encouraged to work with him more. This makes sense because of the layers of protection i use. I have been feeling to get more connected to Angels. I have been wanting to get more connected to the spiritual realm, but I just haven't. I can make u every excuse in the book, but the reality is there is a art of me that stopped caring but I don't know why. I feel defeated, I question whether this is all real or some made up fantasy in my head. It's so real yet seems so unreal. I KNEW she was here. I could feel her. I knew she was young and I KNEW she was wondering why I wouldn't help her. The psychic validated it all. It was funny because I asked him what she wanted and I already knew what he would say. I had to chuckle, but it really hit home because I knew, I knew I knew and yet there is still a small art f me that this is crazy.
When did I stop caring? Why did I stop caring? I wear so many damn hats, and things are just so damn complicated. It's not that I lost site of my physical priorities, I just laced them on the front burner, and put everything else aside. My family has to eat. We need a roof over our heads. And I know this is a HUGE source of my apathy. Going to work everyday while someone else stays home and takes care of my kids. We've switched roles and there is a huge part of me that is pissed. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't hel the way I feel. I have this huge responsibility of financially,emotionally,mentally and spiritually, for a family of 5, not including the dog and cats, and I'm failing miserably. Then I am also given this huge spiritual responsibility to send these souls to the light to cross over. I don't even have the time and energy to actually help them. I'm burnt out. But that's not even the biggest problem, the biggest problem is that I'm depressed because I know I'm failing miserably and most of all I am so angry at myself for not being strong enough to deal with it. And that is the core of the issue. Getting out of my own self and gathering enough strength to take care of it all.
I've lost all faith in myself. I have no idea how I got here and I have no idea how to get out of it. I constantly feel like I am treading water, and then I allow myself to sink, and then I rise again. Kind of like the phoenix. Which has been a symbol I have been seeing lately as well. I really should pay more attention. I'm beginning to see the symbolism now. The birds flying right in front of my windshield, we live in phoenix, death and rebirth,setting fire to the rain. The phoenix represents death and rebirth. Fire overcoming water. Resurrection. Immortal.
The message of the Phoenix for me is to rise again and starting now, so I shall!
When did I stop caring? Why did I stop caring? I wear so many damn hats, and things are just so damn complicated. It's not that I lost site of my physical priorities, I just laced them on the front burner, and put everything else aside. My family has to eat. We need a roof over our heads. And I know this is a HUGE source of my apathy. Going to work everyday while someone else stays home and takes care of my kids. We've switched roles and there is a huge part of me that is pissed. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't hel the way I feel. I have this huge responsibility of financially,emotionally,mentally and spiritually, for a family of 5, not including the dog and cats, and I'm failing miserably. Then I am also given this huge spiritual responsibility to send these souls to the light to cross over. I don't even have the time and energy to actually help them. I'm burnt out. But that's not even the biggest problem, the biggest problem is that I'm depressed because I know I'm failing miserably and most of all I am so angry at myself for not being strong enough to deal with it. And that is the core of the issue. Getting out of my own self and gathering enough strength to take care of it all.
I've lost all faith in myself. I have no idea how I got here and I have no idea how to get out of it. I constantly feel like I am treading water, and then I allow myself to sink, and then I rise again. Kind of like the phoenix. Which has been a symbol I have been seeing lately as well. I really should pay more attention. I'm beginning to see the symbolism now. The birds flying right in front of my windshield, we live in phoenix, death and rebirth,setting fire to the rain. The phoenix represents death and rebirth. Fire overcoming water. Resurrection. Immortal.
The message of the Phoenix for me is to rise again and starting now, so I shall!
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