Dear God,
Where are you? I can't see you , I can't feel you, I feel like I'm stuck in this dungeon all over again, falling further down the rabbit hole. How many times are we going to have to loose it all? I used to think it was because of my ex and his insanity, but it's been my entire life. It never stops, it never ends.
I can't do this. I'm in a situation where I have to financially support my family and I work my ass off, yet it's not enough. It's not enough so much that we are loosing our home! It's not actually our home, it's a rental, but you get the point. None of this makes any sense to me. I do healing, yet, for others it works like a charm, but for my husband...nothing! So now we have to depend on these quack doctors and everything they do just makes it worse! They have completely disabled him yet they tell him to get a job and blow us off, we're not their problem! The whole plan to come down here was so we could work and afford to simply survive, and we would have been fine, but no, that would be to easy.
I'm loosing faith in alot of things, and I'm beginning to think I truly am cursed. It's not the people in my life, it's me. And when our physical lives get thrown up-side down, so does the paranormal increase. I don't know what to do, I don't know what I can do. How can I help other people if I can't even help us? I'm called to be a minister, but at this moment, I can't even minister to the dead!
For some reason,while on a short break, it was like a veil lifted and I'm seeing things more clearly now. If I can I will explain more later, but it's starting to make sense, on a deeper level. Again, with the greater good. I can't take this personally, by doing so I'm defeating my purpose and we will fail. I see this now, and I won't allow my family to fail.
Where are you? I can't see you , I can't feel you, I feel like I'm stuck in this dungeon all over again, falling further down the rabbit hole. How many times are we going to have to loose it all? I used to think it was because of my ex and his insanity, but it's been my entire life. It never stops, it never ends.
I can't do this. I'm in a situation where I have to financially support my family and I work my ass off, yet it's not enough. It's not enough so much that we are loosing our home! It's not actually our home, it's a rental, but you get the point. None of this makes any sense to me. I do healing, yet, for others it works like a charm, but for my husband...nothing! So now we have to depend on these quack doctors and everything they do just makes it worse! They have completely disabled him yet they tell him to get a job and blow us off, we're not their problem! The whole plan to come down here was so we could work and afford to simply survive, and we would have been fine, but no, that would be to easy.
I'm loosing faith in alot of things, and I'm beginning to think I truly am cursed. It's not the people in my life, it's me. And when our physical lives get thrown up-side down, so does the paranormal increase. I don't know what to do, I don't know what I can do. How can I help other people if I can't even help us? I'm called to be a minister, but at this moment, I can't even minister to the dead!
For some reason,while on a short break, it was like a veil lifted and I'm seeing things more clearly now. If I can I will explain more later, but it's starting to make sense, on a deeper level. Again, with the greater good. I can't take this personally, by doing so I'm defeating my purpose and we will fail. I see this now, and I won't allow my family to fail.
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