May 10, 2010
Ok, so I've done it all. I've read the books, I said the prayer's, I've taken the passion test, the empath test and every other test that has to do with who I am and what I'm supposed to do. I've meditated, contemplated, channeled, , begged, yelled, screamed and cried. I've fought the shadows and embraced the light trying to find out what is truly inside. The more I search, the more hopeless I become. Nothing seems to fulfill me. a constant circle of back and forth doing and seeing, seeking and finding to loose it all over again. I'm 36 years old and still no vision for my future.
I was outside today during my last break, It was windy and cold but I spend a lot of my break time connecting with nature and the Divine. I was out there again and asked "what am I supposed to do with my life?" How do I change things if I don't know what I want or know what I'm supposed to do. I guess I've been waiting for one of those life changing "ahah" moments where the planets align and all things are known. So my Angels asked me today, If you were on your way up to heaven and your life was through, would you leave this world satisfied, and feeling that you accomplished all that you wanted to accomplish, or would you leave this world with regret. I said that I would leave with regret. They asked me what I would do differently. I said that I would spend more quality time with my kids. I would be an author. I would help more people, to connect more with my spirituality.. How would you help more people? through writing books and the radio show. How would you spend more quality time with your kids? To have more fun, more laughs, more energy, to embrace my inner child and bring the magic back into our lives. To be care free. How would you connect spiritually? By being as dedicated to the craft as i was when i first started. Celebrating the holidays, to trust without reserve, to walk the path of mystics and to believe in miracles once again.
Hindsight is always 20/20, fortunately, I was able to see it before I got to the pearly gates. These three things are my truest heart's desires. The rest is still unwritten :)
If you ever want a greater perspective on your soul's truest desires, try this exercise. See your life as if it has already past.
Ok, so I've done it all. I've read the books, I said the prayer's, I've taken the passion test, the empath test and every other test that has to do with who I am and what I'm supposed to do. I've meditated, contemplated, channeled, , begged, yelled, screamed and cried. I've fought the shadows and embraced the light trying to find out what is truly inside. The more I search, the more hopeless I become. Nothing seems to fulfill me. a constant circle of back and forth doing and seeing, seeking and finding to loose it all over again. I'm 36 years old and still no vision for my future.
I was outside today during my last break, It was windy and cold but I spend a lot of my break time connecting with nature and the Divine. I was out there again and asked "what am I supposed to do with my life?" How do I change things if I don't know what I want or know what I'm supposed to do. I guess I've been waiting for one of those life changing "ahah" moments where the planets align and all things are known. So my Angels asked me today, If you were on your way up to heaven and your life was through, would you leave this world satisfied, and feeling that you accomplished all that you wanted to accomplish, or would you leave this world with regret. I said that I would leave with regret. They asked me what I would do differently. I said that I would spend more quality time with my kids. I would be an author. I would help more people, to connect more with my spirituality.. How would you help more people? through writing books and the radio show. How would you spend more quality time with your kids? To have more fun, more laughs, more energy, to embrace my inner child and bring the magic back into our lives. To be care free. How would you connect spiritually? By being as dedicated to the craft as i was when i first started. Celebrating the holidays, to trust without reserve, to walk the path of mystics and to believe in miracles once again.
Hindsight is always 20/20, fortunately, I was able to see it before I got to the pearly gates. These three things are my truest heart's desires. The rest is still unwritten :)
If you ever want a greater perspective on your soul's truest desires, try this exercise. See your life as if it has already past.
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